Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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