I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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