He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
