This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
