I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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