I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
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He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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