i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize