I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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