After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
