Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
