I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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