What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
