I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
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I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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