there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
