dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
