I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
