Where is the hickey?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
