I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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