So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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