I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
