He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
