Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
