don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
