Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize