I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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