I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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