your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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