that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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