I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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