I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
