When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
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So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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