Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
