just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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