this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
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last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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