What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
