ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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