Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Let's get the cat blown out
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
