i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
