uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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