I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
