I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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