I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
