You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
