1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
