So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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