dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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