i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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