She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
