still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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