For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize