I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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