I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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