We won't sleep together?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
