Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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