i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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