You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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