CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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