the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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