i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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