I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
