That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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