you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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