tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
