Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
